When I was in my teens I can't remember having much care beyond who was playing on the radio, and whether I could scrape together enough money to buy a record that was the moment of deep pleasure to play over and over again, potentially encouraging my parents to hand out the ear plugs to family and visitors.
I skipped through school, I can not really say I enjoyed it, but there was no pressure to conform, it was not without some difficulty, bullied a little but so wrapped up in my own world I'm not sure I cared, it certainly didn't encourage me to skip school. I do remember the inward sigh when one particularly girl would see me and begin the following, close behind with plenty to say about how awful I was, but really this dented nothing about my confidence or personality. I had my groups of friends, never being one to have that special friend to share my secrets, probably because I had none. If I liked a boy I didn't giggle over his glances towards me or tell a friend, I told him directly. Now it's hard to imagine I was so brazen.
A Mummy's girl until about fifteen when this inbuilt urge to pull against the apron strings spiraled me into a new era, one it seems we never quite recover from. I think it can be loosely described as adulthood. My extended family remember me as a shy little girl with ribbons and ringlets and pretty girly dresses. I just remember these older children peering at me hiding behind my Mother's skirt and wondering why they were so interested. Having to let go of her hand and play, in a strange house and a strange garden, yet really looking back I enjoyed the play time the interaction and still today see my cousins and remember fondly how essential they were in my formative years.
I'm not really on a trip into memory lane here, but am comparing how life for the teenager has changed. Pressure in the classroom, from my experience compared to my now fifteen year old daughter I see exam stress, demands to reach a level or they will be doomed. Nastiness in the play ground and tight nit groups of girls and boys compared to the same sex groups that I was familiar with at school.
Why have we allowed our children to be pushed onto a treadmill when the rat race is still awaiting them as it did me, why is school such a negative experience, creating more depressed adolescents than ever before. Education is vital, I am still on education wheel even now, but when do they have time to be children, why is there so much eagerness to enforce pressure into what can only be described as the most confusing dance of life that they will ever face, with emotions and hormones and social experiments dictating how they feel.
As a life coach, although my area of expertise if you like, is bereavement, when you look at depression, sadness, confusion it is so closely connected what can we do to jump off of the conveyor belt and think for a moment. Money, gifts, holidays, trips, are nothing compared to time, we can't stop the hands of the clock from turning, but if you close your eyes for a moment what are the memories that you hold dear, do your children have these memories too.
The increase in drinking and recreational drug use amongst our young people identifies an element of boredom and a lack of attention, can it be changed for the future generations?
Taken from the book 'Dancing Through Time' publication date August 2014
copyright 2014
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